Now, you can add Matt Lauer’s name to the list of harassers. In his case, it cost him dearly; he’s been fired from NBC. He’s off the Today Show. People are shocked, but that goes without saying.
“He seemed so nice.”
“He didn’t seem like the type.”
“He was like a member of my family. How could this have happened?”
I’ve heard those statements off and on all day. Lauer seemed like an average Joe, a decent guy. He just didn’t seem like the “type”.
But he was.
I’ve been saying this for a while now: abusers know how to manipulate people. Abusers know how to craft the perfect outer persona. Abusers know how to look innocent, seem innocuous and keep your fears at bay. And they are so successful at this because most people don’t want to believe that an abuser can seem like a decent human being. No, most expect abusers to be monstrous, hideous creatures who are constantly angry or demeaning towards others. Most people think that they can spot an abuser a mile away, because they aren’t people.
That’s the problem. Abusers aren’t monsters. They aren’t always angry or manipulative. They look like regular people because that’s what they are.
They aren’t monsters. But abusers are disguised, hiding in plain sight. What do they look like? An average person or an average Joe. You know, the ones that don’t look like that “type”.