This Actually Happened

No, really. This actually happened: a man flipped his truck five times because he let Jesus “take the wheel”. I am not making this shit up, I swear to you. I really wish I could say otherwise:

Two witnesses said they saw England speeding down the highway, when, for no apparent reason, he left the roadway on the right side. THP reported England said that he did not take off running, he was “being called and was traveling to bow before someone.” He also stated he was not driving, but he was behind the wheel.

If you’re not driving the vehicle, why exactly are you behind the damn steering wheel? Explain that to me.

According to the report, as deputies searched the vehicle, they found six grams of marijuana, 0.6 grams of cocaine, a pipe, rolling papers, a ¾ empty bottle of Crown Royal, a small empty bottle of Crown Royal, and several cans used of ‘huffing.’

He denied a blood draw, but was obviously under the influence of drugs, according to the incident report.

Either that or he was under the influence of stupidity because seriously.

England was arrested and charged with DUI first offense, felony possession of schedule II for resale, possession of schedule VI, and possession of paraphernalia, open container, no driver’s license in possession, failure to exercise due care, no registration in possession, violation of implied consent, and no insurance in possession.

But he wan’t charged with being a dumb-ass, because that’s not a crime. Way to go, Sparky. Way to effing go.

Optimus-FFS

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About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We miss him every day.
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