It snowed today. This is the third year in a row that we’ve gotten snow on March 1st. I needed it to snow. During the morning hours, I felt anxious. Something was wrong but I didn’t know what. When I got to the door, I felt upset and nervous.
Then the snow fell. I wanted to cry. But afterwards, I felt better. Then, I realized why.
Today is the anniversary of my surgery. I didn’t think it would bother me. Last year, this day came and went without problems. I made mention of what had happened, but that was all. I didn’t mind it. March 1st, 2017 was just another day.
It wasn’t this year. I don’t know why.
I can’t help wondering if I should take this day off next year. Maybe the date is a bit too loaded for me. It’s buried in the back of my mind, so deeply that I don’t acknowledge it, but it asserts itself when it sees fit. Maybe being at work on this day isn’t such a good idea.
I’m okay now. Seeing the snow was enough to calm me. I just hope that I’ll be seeing more of it on this day next year. My sanity might depend on it.