I got back from our local Shopko. I picked up a necklace there; it’s a silver paw print. I’ve already switched out the chain, as the one that came with it was too short. I’ll probably wear it tomorrow.
I needed something that I could keep close to my heart to remind me of Sammy. The Grand Chute Wal-Mart was useless in that regard; their pet i.d. tag engraving machine seems to be gone. There was a Hallmark branded cat necklace–in stainless steel–that just didn’t appeal to me. The only thing that I really liked was that paw print pendant.
It’s gotten slightly easier but we’re still coping. Prime is still taking it harder than I. Although I’m slowly getting better, I’m still dealing with depression and sudden crying jags. There’s a part of me that feels as though I failed Sammy and failed him badly; I keep asking myself if I had caught this earlier, would the outcome have been different? Could I have saved him? Or would it not have mattered?
I don’t know. I can’t say. I just wish things hadn’t ended this way.
I really miss our cat. I really do.