Asshat of the Week: Unfriended Edition

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Welcome to another edition of Asshat of the Week, where I find an asshat and let the entire multiverse know that this person is not a person but an asshat. Because asshats have no idea that they are asshats; asshats don’t have that kind of self awareness. This week’s asshat is David Mills, who has some clout in atheist circles. Now I have to wonder if he’ll have any after this stunt.

It seems that Mills went on a bit of a rant and that rant ended up on Facebook. Here is said rant, as posted by the Atlanta Freethought Society:

Fyi. David Mills, author of “Atheist Universe: The Thinking Person’s Answer to Christian Fundamentalism,” posted this rant last night. A lot of us used to admire him but are now perplexed and dismayed. Reposted with permission.

I left Facebook for the same reason that I momentarily return this evening: because you Democratic “men” thoroughly disgust me — even though I am, in practice, far more liberal and Democratic than you are. So let me voice what you Democratic “men” actually think but are too gutless to say because you fear female disapproval, female approval for which you humiliatingly grovel online.

1. The renewed FBI investigation into Judge Kavanaugh should discern whether “Dr. Christine Blasey (what a stupid name!) Ford” is actually a female. To me, she looks like a male actor wearing a cheap wig. Thank you.

2. If we can go back 36 years and asked whether you ever grinded your drunken crotch against your date’s drunken crotch, very few men (or women) could pass this inquisition. Thank you. And, by the way, I never graduated Yale law school. Did you? Thank you again. You’re far superior to Judge Kavanaugh.

3. I HATE Republicans and the Republican party. My daughter was twelve years old before she realized that, contrary to her homeschooling program (administered by me), the name of the opposition party was not actually “the Fucking Republicans.” Nonetheless, the GOP today actually holds out the tiny possibility that some women may LIE about sexual assault. Every successful man lives in terror now that a woman on hormone-therapy replacement and SSRI antidepressants and benzodiazepines and anti-psychotic meds will reconstruct a “suppressed memory” of how she was assaulted. (It should be noted that almost 1,200 women have signed sworn affidavits to the FBI that their ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends were the 1971 hijacker DB Cooper.) But, still, women can never lie or be mistaken. A tiny minority of women can be absolutely satanic. I once had a prostitute, whom I admittedly paid for sex, try to extort $5,000 from me so she could buy a used car and keep my picture off a local billboard picturing men who picked up prostitutes. Thank you. Thank you so much!

4. As I said in a soon-to-be-released VICE documentary titled “Sex Object” (produced and directed by FEMALE Hollywood producer Meredith Duckluck), “If I were a young guy in college these days, I would be afraid to ask out a woman now without having a team of attorneys to accompany me.” When Ms. Danluck and her production crew were guests at my home on February 9, 2018, she said to me, “I have just two words for women who report sexual allegations years after the fact.” I was befuddled and asked what those two words were? She said, “Fuck you” (to the lethargic accusers). Women see through this bullshit far quicker than you men do, who are still trolling pathetically for sex and female validation online. (And, trust me, I’ve slept with more women, for pay or due to my “charms,” than you have, Democratic “men.”) Groveling for female approval online or for votes is so blatantly transparent that women immediately recognize your scheme and ridicule you behind your emasculated backs. I’ve gotten more actual sex from forthrightly telling women that I jacked off to their Facebook profile pics than you’ve gotten by pretending what a horrible human being Brett Kavanaugh is. Still, you know best, “Men.” Thank you.

5. I once heard the renowned actor Paul Newman say that “I hate my audience.” I thought to myself, “How ungrateful! What an asshole!” Now, I echo his sentiment: I really do hate my audience (you liberal “men”). You publicly emasculate yourselves in an ill-fated effort to score points with women. Again, women will respect you more if you genuinely tell them that you lust for their tits or their legs than if you tell women what a wonderful president Hillary Clinton would have been. Just be honest! Just be honest!!! And don’t be ashamed of being a male with a horny dick! Some women actually LIKE sex, though none of them are feminists on orgasm-suppressing SSRI anti-depressants.

6. Yes, I do own a RealDoll. I named her “Taffy.” Yes, I do own high-end virtual-reality computer hardware for stunningly realistic sexual immersion into the world of virtual and augmented sexual “reality.” A lot of you used to make fun of me for that. Now, with all this shit going down about alleged sexual assault everywhere, you’re recognizing me as you did as the author of Atheist Universe — as a man ahead of the curve. Thank you. I appreciate your long-belated recognition. Go MGTOW. (Look it up.) Thank you.

7. Most of you are highly intelligent, politically-aware voters. Yet you are absolutely horrendous political analysts — beyond Chuck-Todd and Chris-Matthews-misguided in your predictions. You think that trashing white men is the way to galvanize the vote. You are wrong. Trump won white women. Trump won married women. Not every woman is a man-hating butch-cut lesbian. Some women actually LIKE men. Some women actually LIKE to wear heels and get a perm and look hot. Can you imagine THAT? Some women actually LIKE sex. In my younger days (in the previous century) some women even groped ME. In the highly unlikely event that any of them are ever nominated to the US Supreme Court, I will consider it an honor that someone of such accomplishment was ever in my presence and ever gave me the fucking time of day. Thank you.

8. I find it interesting these days that women never drink and never get drunk of their own feminist choosing. Instead, men always GET them drunk. Women are mindless, helpless, emotionally-vacuous rag dolls, incapable of independent thought or action. Thank you. And by the way (again), if Brett Kavanaugh was so drunk that he was on the verge of “blacking out,” he could not have performed sexually. Your dick simply doesn’t get hard. I’ve been there. (Not) done that. Thank you so much.

9. My view of the #MeToo movement is this: approximately 50 percent of the allegations are absolutely true. Another 25 percent are partly true but are embellished to facilitate lawsuits to extort money from rich men and their insurance companies. The remaining 25 percent are complete fabrications from women either on anti-psychotic meds or who want to exact political or gender revenge. Thank you very very much. Have a nice day.

This guy is a published author. Let that shit sink in for a moment.

Okay, where do I begin? Do I start with the blatant transphobia, claiming that Dr. Ford looks like “a male actor wearing a cheap wig”? Do I start with the blatant misogyny that drips from every sentence of this screed? Do I start with the blatantly stupid idea that sex with this yutz should be considered a gift? (If I keep the receipt, can I trade that shit in for a toaster oven? Just asking for a friend.) Do I start with the blatantly ableist language, claiming that SSRIs and hormone therapy causes women to “invent” suppressed memories? (Yo, Davey! I’m on an SSRI and I’m married. No invented memories over here. But a nice break from the anxiety.) Or do I start with the annoying and repetitive “Thank yous” thrown in at various spots of this poorly tossed word salad? Seriously, there’s too many turds in this shit sandwich; I have no idea where to start!

With “allies” like this, we’re better off on our own. However, this is the one major reason that I love free speech; it allows asshats to shoot themselves in the foot while they have to deal with the consequences. Gotta wonder if Davey’s next book will be self-published or farted out by a vanity publisher, as I don’t see another legitimate publishing company making the Hanrahan mistake with this guy. Or maybe he’ll wise up and simply shut the hell up forever.

Oh wait, he’s an asshat. They never know when to quit, as noted above.

About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon--official and non--since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We still miss him. But we're now the acting staff of a Maine Coon kitty named Lulu, who pretty much rules the house. Not that we're complaining about that.
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