So, I found out why the schedule is the way it is: whoever has been putting it together has been copying and pasting the same hours. Apparently, they’ve done this for the next month, which is why my request for the 27th wasn’t honored. One of my co-workers will be talking to management about it; as to whether or not anything will change remains to be seen. I don’t have much confidence that it will. It’s all moot anyway.
Brewers On Deck is sold out. Prime and I couldn’t get tickets if we wanted. But, what should I expect? They were one game away from the World Series. But in any case, I am well and truly screwed.
Adding to that is the fact that I feel terrible; I made the mistake of taking a look inside the refrigerator tonight and out of the corner of my eye, spotted a few medicine bottles.
Sammy’s medicine bottles. They’re still in the fridge. I haven’t gotten rid of them yet. And seeing them pushed me over the edge.
Suffice to say, I had an awful cry and I feel drained. My eyes ache, I feel exhausted, and I just want to pitch myself in bed and go to sleep. But on the other hand, I’m still mentally screaming at myself, wondering how in the hell I could be so stupid and fail the cat so much. It’s been almost seven months and I still have bad days. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever feel normal again.
In any case, that didn’t help matters. I’m just glad that I’m off tomorrow; maybe a day to myself will help me feel better. It couldn’t hurt.