Asshat of the Week: “Heartbeat This, You Evil Motherf**ker” Edition

Welcome to Asshat of the Week, where I discover an asshat who lives in some backwards ass corner of the United States and point out to everyone with a functional brain, that s/he is an asshat. Because asshats literally are too stupid–or in some cases, evil–to realize that yes, they are indeed asshats. This week’s asshat is none other than Tennessee Republican State Rep. Micah Van Huss.

You may remember this particular asshat as the asshat who wants to put a shout-out to Jesus in the Tennessee constitution, which is bad enough. But, like most asshats, Van Huss has no idea when to quit: he wants to ban abortion in Tennessee the moment a heartbeat can be detected in an embryo. Yes, you are reading that correctly. Yes, screaming in sheer, unadulterated rage is, in fact, the proper response. But it fucking gets worse because we exist in a fucking dystopian shithole:

DIXIE:You stated earlier that you know what evil looks like. I want to see if you can find the evil in this scenario.

Let’s say you are a 15-year-old girl in high school who’s an athlete. And you’re raped by your teacher or coach. And you are feeling some shame, responsibility from the weight that is preventing you from confiding in anyone, even your parents and friends. So you’re trying to forget and make your life seem normal. Going to class. Spending time with friends. And you miss your first monthly period.

And now you’re terrified that you’re pregnant. So you finally get the courage to buy a pregnancy test, and the result is your worst fear: you’re pregnant.

So by the time you go to the doctor, six or seven weeks after the rape, and a fetal heartbeat is detected, Representative Van Huss, are you willing to put into law that this girl has to carry her rapist’s baby while trying to finish high school, abandon her sports team, and see her rapist every day?

VAN HUSS: Thank you, Mr. Chairman, and thank you for the question, Rep. Dixie. You asked if I could find the evil in this scenario. I cannot.

I can’t even with this shit. Seriously.

Congrats, Van Huss. If you want to take a good, long look at evil, just stare in a mirror for the next half hour. That is, if you can even see your own damned reflection, you ghoulish vampire. Oh, and thanks to this brazen act of idiocy, you’re officially nominated for Asshat of the Year. Because there are asshats, then there’s you, Van Huss. Congratulations, you miserable Asshat.

Or in this case, Asshat.

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About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We still miss him. But we're now the acting staff of a Maine Coon kitty named Lulu, who pretty much rules the house. Not that we're complaining about that.
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