Asshat of the Week: Penis Substitute Edition

Welcome to Asshat of the Week, where I find an asshat–or in this case, a couple–and put their asshattery on display for the world to see. Because asshats are far too dense to realize that they are asshats; asshats are not very self aware. This week’s Asshats are a pair of miserable excuses for humanity that suffer from a major case of manhood shrinkage, Andrew and Owen Renner.

Now, you probably don’t know the names of these two Asshats, but I found them via Joe.My.God: these two Asshats shot a mother bear and her cubs… while in their den. You are reading this correctly.

In April of 2018, Alaskan father and son Andrew Renner, 41, and Owen Renner, 18, both of Wasilla, illegally killed a black bear sow and her two cubs on Esther Island in Prince William Sound. Video of that incident has now been made public, nearly a year later.

The sow and cubs that the Renners killed were part of a bear study being conducted by the Alaska Department of Fish and Game as well as the U.S. Forest Service. Because the bears were part of a study, their den was under video surveillance, and the two were caught on camera killing the bears.

Daddy’s gotten three months in jail(!) and a $10,000 fine. It needs to be more; these two Asshats went back to the scene of the crime to tamper with the evidence. Yeah, they need to get charged with a felony and lose their right to vote, along with the right to own a gun, which will effectively neuter them.

If you watch the video, you can hear Asshat #1 say that they go “where the fuck” they want to “kill shit”.

Great idea.

Only this time, Daddy and Sonny-boy Asshat don’t have them there “fancy shootin’ rifles”. Nah, they get to do it the old-fashioned way: dropped into the middle of nowhere, naked and with a sharp, pointy stick as their only means of defense. I mean, if we’re going to make it a sport, let’s make it fair, shall we?

But unfortunately, that will never happen. However, these two embarrassments to hominids–and primates in general–do get one honor: a nomination for Asshat of the Year. Let’s hope you two reprobates don’t shoot blanks at the end of the year, like you have your entire lives.

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About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We still miss him. But we're now the acting staff of a Maine Coon kitty named Lulu, who pretty much rules the house. Not that we're complaining about that.
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