This went somewhat viral on Facebook a little bit ago; it’s such a festering pile of stupid that I just had to do a takedown. So buckle in, guys; it’s about to get bumpy in here. (As always, if this isn’t your thing, feel free to skip. Everyone else, follow me past the jump.)
HOW I FEEL ABOUT TRUMP: By Steve Harvey
Before you ask: no, this is not from that Steve Harvey, because not even he can be so damn stupid.
You’ve been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons.. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement.. You want them gone immediately!.. You call the city and 4 different exterminators, but nobody can handle the job.. But there is this one guy, and he guarantees to get rid of them, so you hire him.. You don’t care if the guy swears, you don’t care how many times he’s been married, you don’t care if he has a plumber’s crack, you simply want those raccoons gone!.. You want your problem fixed!.. He’s the guy.. He’s the best!
Let me begin with a story: you live in a nice, quiet neighborhood when suddenly, a moving van pulls up to the lot next to yours. A group of people come tumbling out; they look disheveled and malnourished. Just before they stumble into the house, they turn their heads skyward and scream praises to their god. Yeah, you’re freaked out, but as long as they keep to themselves, it’s fine.
Then winter comes and these guys never went to the grocery store. They’re starving. So you do what you can to help. That should be the end of it, you think. Then spring arrives. You see, now your neighbors have decided that their lot just isn’t large enough. They want yours as well. So they take it, and they force you to live in a swamp. Sucks to be you.
Now, if you’re getting pissed off reading this, you’ve just read a very abridged version of American history. There were people on this land, native peoples, and the colonizers who arrived later were more than happy to swindle, or threaten, or just plainly take, these people’s lands. In the context of history, white Americans are the raccoons. Think about that for a moment.
There’s another problem with this: the Grand Nagus’s not, nor will he ever be, the best. He doesn’t hire “the best people”. If anything, the Nagus wouldn’t be able to tell a raccoon from a cat, so he’d do the least competent thing and throw them both in a cage, then laugh as the raccoon tried to kill the cat. (Horrifying thought, I know. But that’s just how the Nagus is and that’s what he’d do.)
Here’s why we want Trump: Yes, he’s a bit of a jerk; Yes, he’s an egomaniac; but we don’t care!..
You want the Grand Nagus simply because you think he can hurt people, namely the ones you don’t like. And yes, we get it: you don’t fucking care. It’s fucking obvious you don’t.
The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republicans and Democrats can be two-faced and gutless, and illegals are everywhere.. We want it all fixed!..
Well, maybe if some of these palers hadn’t hopped on board those boats, had stayed in Europe and fixed their own shithole countries, we wouldn’t have to deal with this. Damn illegals, shitting out anchor babies, claiming that they have “god given rights” to lands that belonged to the Cherokee, the Iroquois, and the Oneida!
…something tells me that this is not what this guy wanted to hear. But, eh, fuck his feelings.
We don’t care that Trump is crude, we don’t care that he insults people, we don’t care that he’s been married 3 times, we don’t care that he fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell, we don’t care that he doesn’t know the name of some Muslim terrorist..
You could have stopped at “We don’t care”. But the thing is that you do care.
You care a great deal who he insults and belittles, because that’s “pwning teh libturds” or whatever. So yes, you do care that he insults people, just as long as it’s the right people.
This country became weak and bankrupt, our enemies were making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegals, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo, and Hasid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don’t even recognize the country we were born and raised in; “AND WE JUST WANT IT FIXED”.. And Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want..
ZOMG, people who aren’t white have not-white namez! It’s the end of Westurn Civilizashun!!!111! Wyte geenosyde! /dumbassery
No one is asking for “special” rights. They are asking for rights. But you’re too racist to get that, huh, Stevie? And of course you don’t recognize the country you were “born and raised in” because THINGS CHANGE.
We get it: you liked it better when them uppity (insert group/slur here) knew their places and didn’t say anything that made you uncomfortable. This is why you impotently rage against “political correctness”; you can’t say anything bigoted or racist without facing the music. And it pisses you off to no end.
Guess what? No one cares about your feelings. Suck it up, buttercup.
Not only that, but our country has lost its standing with our allies because the Grand Nagus has alienated them! He’s gotten cozy with dictators and turned his back on our friends. Yeah, but do try and shift the blame on the previous President, you know, the one who was far too dark skinned for your liking. Yeah, because it’s all that guys fault.
We’re sick of politicians, sick of the Democratic Party, sick of the Republican Party, and sick of illegals!.. We just want this thing fixed.. Trump may not be a Saint, but we didn’t vote for a Pope.. We voted for a man who doesn’t have lobbyist money holding him back, a man who doesn’t have political correctness restraining him.. We all know that he has been very successful, he’s a good negotiator, he has built a lot of things, and he’s also NOT a politician, NOT a cowardly politician.!…
He’s also not competent. He’s also not intelligent. He’s also not truthful. He’s also… do I need to go on here?
But the biggest problem? He’s not successful. He’s filed for bankruptcy four times. Again, think about that for a moment.
And he says he’ll fix it.. And we believe him because he is too much of an egotist to be proven wrong, or looked at and called a liar.. Also, we don’t care if the guy has bad hair.. We just want those raccoons gone, out of our house, NOW!!!
No, you just want to be racist assholes and not have your poor little white fee-fees hurt when someone calls you out on being a racist asshole. Again, fuck your feelings.
But he won’t fix anything. The people he hires quit within a year or so, none of them are qualified to do any of the jobs they’re assigned, there’s been no draining of any swamp. Things haven’t changed. Well, actually, they’ve gotten much worse.
You are welcome to copy/paste/share this.. Thousands of people who haven’t voted in 25 years seem to be getting involved.. And the more people get this message, the more that will understand why Trump was elected..The raccoons have got to go!!!
Considering how you are one of the raccoons, #YouAreBeingReplaced Stevie. Just saying.