Letters to Sammy: End of the Road

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Dear Sammy,

When you were sick, Prime and I loaded you into our car, Scamper, to take you to the vet. You managed to see that car a few times; it was Scamper who gave you your last ride home.

That car is all but gone, Sammy. His last day was Friday. We’re currently borrowing Prime’s father’s–his real father, not the abusive asshead who happened to share the house with him when he was a kid–truck for a while. We’re looking at cars on Carvana, trying to find something in our price range. We hope to get an SUV or the like; that way, we won’t be dealing with a scraped undercarriage.

It still sucks.

To a degree, it feels as if losing Scamper is losing one last tie with you. No, you weren’t in that car too often but it was around for a good number of years while you were with us. Now, that car is going to be taken away, hauled off for who knows what, probably bound for a car crusher or a scrapyard or some other kind of automotive hell and I can’t save him. I feel helpless.

I hate that feeling. I felt it last year, when I had to make that final decision, and I hate it.

I hate August. I hate feeling helpless. But most of all, I hate myself for letting you down. I fucked up, Sammy, and you had to pay for it.

I don’t know how long it might be before I finally forgive myself. I think it’s going to be a long time.

Lovingly yours,

Silverwynde

P.S. Your dad is slowly getting better. He’s rather happy now, since Lulu came into our lives. He’s smiling more, Sammy. It would make you happy seeing that.

About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We still miss him. But we're now the acting staff of a Maine Coon kitty named Lulu, who pretty much rules the house. Not that we're complaining about that.
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2 Responses to Letters to Sammy: End of the Road

  1. DeviceDude says:

    It was good to know Curbjumper and Scamper while they were still around. 🙂

    Please forgive yourself for the last decision you had to make for Sammy. Joe and I had to do the same for our calico Cali in 2016. The objective of ending the pain permanently is what mattered.

    ~daiAtlas

    Liked by 1 person

    • Silverwynde says:

      It is, but if I could have switched places with poor Sammy, I would have. Even if it’s the right thing to do, it feels awful. I don’t know who was more upset: Prime or myself. (Thankfully, we’re getting better. Have to thank Lulu for that.)

      Like

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