“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.” — from The Paradoxical Commandments
I can’t. Not anymore. That cup is empty and can not be refilled.
Last night, I got off of work at 17:30. Prime decided that since we were on that side of town, we should go to HuHot for dinner. I agreed, albeit reluctantly; I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be around people. Even though most businesses have mask policies, ever since the statewide mandate was overturned, a lot of people are not wearing masks. But it was a Wednesday night. How busy could it be?
Extremely. That was enough for me to have a panic attack. But seeing people without masks? Yeah, full bore anxiety attack. No joke.
I managed to hold it together for the majority of the meal, but assembling the ingredients and waiting for my meal to be grilled was torture. People weren’t socially distancing, Prime had a woman who was practically standing on his heels, and I was a mental wreck. It wasn’t fun.
I told Prime later that next time, we should go to the location in Oshkosh, as its not anywhere near as busy. Even during lunch hour, the building is almost vacant; there aren’t any lines for the food or the grill. It’s a lot nicer.
Then there was today.
I had to open today, which meant a steel walk. Not fun but I was okay. No, I had two different members complain about our mask policy and the first claimed that this was the last time she would shop with us; she’d rather go to Sam’s Club because they didn’t have a mask policy. Or rather, they didn’t enforce it.
I wanted to tell her to go to Sam’s Club right then and there. I mean, hey, if wearing a mask is such a burden for her, why should she bother walking through our doors?
I can’t anymore. I just can’t. I don’t want to be around people anymore. I don’t want to be out in public, either. I used to think that I wanted to go to SDCC, but now, no. I don’t want to go anywhere near a huge convention. I’ll stick with BotCon, as it’s much smaller.
But I don’t see myself leaving the house and doing things on my days off anymore. I can’t trust other people; they’ve shown that they’re not trustworthy. So few of them are doing the right thing. I don’t want to spend time around any of them; I’m just burned out from this entire situation.
It’s going to be another long, cold winter this year. I don’t think I’m too upset about that.