FaceBorked

Pain looks good on other people.

This is A Thing That Happened: Facebook has locked out people who didn’t activate Facebook Protect. Even worse? Some people who did activate it can’t access their accounts.

Early in March, a bunch of Facebook users got a mysterious, spam-like email titled “Your account requires advanced security from Facebook Protect” and telling them that they were required to turn on the Facebook Protect feature (which they could do by hitting a link in the email) by a certain date, or they would be locked out of their account.

Apparently, it’s an actual, legitimate thing: it’s a “security program for groups of people that are more likely to be targeted by malicious hackers, such as human rights defenders, journalists, and government officials”. But there was a minor problem:

Unfortunately, the email that Facebook sent from the address security@facebookmail.com resembled a rather common form of spam, and so it’s probable that many people ignored it.

So this message was either deleted by mistake or possibly ended up in people’s spam folders. But in any case, some people didn’t turn on Facebook Protect. Now things have seemingly gone to hell.

It actually wasn’t spam. In fact, it was real. The first deadline to hit for many people was Thursday, March 17th. And now, they are locked out of their Facebook accounts — and are having trouble with the process that Facebook has provided to get them back in.

Yes, it’s a complete cluster fuck. But it gets worse. Or better, depending on how you look at this.

Those who did not activate Facebook Protect before their deadline are apparently getting a message explaining why they can’t get into their accounts and offering to help them turn it on. However, it’s not always working[…]

It seems people are getting verification codes that do not work. So they have to get another code… which doesn’t work. So they try again. And again. And yet again.

Second verse, same as the first.

Others complained that they couldn’t get through the activation process even before the deadline and so are effectively locked out of their accounts[…]

Welcome to my life. It’s not so terrible. Trust me, life without Facebook is a lot less stressful.

According to Facebook, they’re looking into this, but as to whether or not it’ll actually get fixed remains to be seen. Now, since this has actually garnered some media attention, Zuckerberg will put as many people on this as he can, because this fiasco makes his company look inept and ridiculous. Remember, he cares very much about his image; if White People Media™ is at all critical of anything he does, he makes sure to address it.

It’s probably too little, too late. Honestly, if you had to jump through that many hoops to try and get your account back, would you really want to do it? Would you even want to attempt another account? Would any of this be worth that much trouble?

In my case, it wasn’t. Shit’s gone and I’m not upset about it. Hell, I’m glad they murdered my account; I don’t have to deal with this shit!

Your company is circling the drain, Zuckerberg. Like every other turd, the sewer awaits it.

You guys can’t land with a wet, filthy smack fast enough.

About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon--official and non--since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We still miss him. But we're now the acting staff of a Maine Coon kitty named Lulu, who pretty much rules the house. Not that we're complaining about that.
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