That’s a Spanking

There was a reason. Trust me.

This Is A Thing That Actually Happened: Akon needs a sex ed lesson, or at the very least, some tutoring in basic biology. Because seriously, WTF?

No, really: please explain how you can rub one out, pop it into an incubator, and in nine months–or less!–you get a brand new mini human. Because that is absolutely NOT HOW THIS WORKS.

I’m not saying that it cannot happen–It absolutely does–but it rather famously happens with females. So, sorry Akon, but you can’t just reheat your lukewarm cock-a-knock water in the nuke box and somehow it’ll magically spawn into a baby however many weeks later. Human reproduction doesn’t work like that at all. Yes, the one who has the uterus is the one growing that life. That’s pretty much how it works in placental mammals.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go binge some kitten videos to bleach my brain. It’s full of enough fuckery for one day; I need some cute.

About Silverwynde

I'm a Transformers fan, Pokémon player, Brewers fan and all-out general nerd. I rescue abandoned Golett, collect as many Bumblebee decoys and figures as I can find and I've attended every BotCon--official and non--since 1999. I'm also happily married to a fellow Transfan named Prime and we were both owned by a very intelligent half-Siamese cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on June 16, 2018. We still miss him. But we're now the acting staff of a Maine Coon kitty named Lulu, who pretty much rules the house. Not that we're complaining about that.
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